Tears of an Angel
by BTRobsession
Summary: Logan and Kendall get into a fight causing Kendall to lose the one he loves. sucky summary but i hope the story is better. sad Kogan. please R


"Again!" Gustavo yelled.

"Aw come on Gustavo can we go home now" Kendall said.

"No! Its still early" Gustavo said.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was nine thirty. We first arrived at the studio at eight am, and we hadn't had a break since noon. I was extremely exhausted and I could tell everyone else was too. Carlos looked like he was going to pass out any minute. James was so tired that he could barely keep his eyes open. Kendall however tried to be strong and stay awake, but I could see through all that. He was just as tired as everyone else. While Gustavo yelled at us for how bad we sounded, I placed my head on Kendall's shoulder. He reacted by resting his head against mine. Carlos sat down on the floor of the sound booth, and closed his eyes. James took a seat next to Carlos and they were soon snoring softly. Once Gustavo was done yelling at us, Kendall rolled his eyes.

"Can we go now?" Kendall asked.

"Those three can, but you have to stay behind" Gustavo said.

Kendall groaned. "Why me?"

"Because you were AWFUL!" Gustavo yelled.

"But that's not fair" Kendall said.

"Well life's not fair. Now get to work!" Gustavo said.

Kendall sighed and turned to me. "I guess I'll see you later Logie"

"I can wait for you, its no big deal" I said.

"But what about James and Carlos?" he asked.

"Kelly can take them home and I'll wait for you" I said.

He smiled and gave me a peck on the lips. "I wont be long"

I nodded. "Ok"

I gave him another kiss, but pulled away quickly when Gustavo yelled at us. I sighed and went to wake Carlos and James up. Once they were up they followed Kelly to the awaiting limo. Before I left I turned back to Kendall. He gave me a reassuring smile and I smiled back. I left Rocque Records and waited in the car. I put the radio on and listened to some music. I really wish Kendall didn't have to stay behind, but Gustavo made him and there was nothing we could do about it. I checked the clock and saw it was only nine forty-five. I was going to be here awhile. After a few minutes, I could feel my eyes start to droop. I yawned and tried to stay awake, but the need for sleep became to much and I closed my eyes. Falling into a deep sleep.

I opened my eyes and rubbed them. Thinking it was a little after ten, I decided to check the clock again. I gasped when it was twelve-thirty. It seemed like I had been out for a few minutes, but it turned out to be a few hours. Kendall still wasn't back yet, and I was starting to get worried. If anything bad happened to him I don't know what I'd do. A few more minutes passed by and I was starting to get impatient. It was driving me crazy that he wasn't back yet. After a few more minutes, I saw him walking out of the building. I sighed in relief and got out of the car. I ran up to him and gave him a hug.

"I thought something terrible happened to you" I said.

He chuckled. "I'm fine Logie, just a little tired"

"Don't worry when we get home you can get some sleep" I said.

He nodded and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. We made our way back to the car and Kendall climbed into the passenger side, while I got into the drivers side. I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Kendall didn't say much, just stared out into the distance. Not only did he look tired but also upset about something. I frowned. I didn't like seeing him sad because it mad me sad too.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm fine" he said.

He was obviously lying. He wasn't the type of person to talk about his feelings. But I bet he would feel better if he did.

"Please Kendall talk to me" I said.

"There's nothing to talk about" he said.

I frowned and placed my hand on his knee. "Please"

He sighed. "Logie I don't want to talk about it"

"Why? It could really help you"

"Logan just drop it"

I sighed and turned back to the road. I was glad it wasn't that busy. I didn't really want to deal with crazy drivers at the moment. Hopefully when we get back to the Palm Woods, Kendall wouldn't be so bitchy. I didn't like it when he was mad. I liked it when he was in a good mood.

"Kendall can you please just be happy" I said.

"Logie I said drop it. Is it so hard to do that" he said.

"No, but I want to know what's bothering you. You never talk to me about how you feel. Communication is important in a relationship." I said.

"Logan please just leave me alone. I'm really tired and not in the mood to talk" he said.

"But it bugs me that you keep everything bottled up inside. Its not good for you" I said.

"Well that's just how I am" he said.

"But you don't have to be"

"Logan just shut up!" he snapped.

"No wonder your so pissy" I mumbled.

He turned to face me. "What did you say?"

"Nothing"

"I thought communication is important" he said

"It is" I said.

"Then why wont you talk to me"

"Because you wont talk to me. It goes both ways" I said

"God Logan why do you have to be so fucking stubborn" he said.

"Hey! I'm not the one being stubborn. You started this whole thing"

"Me? You're the one who started this fucking fight. Not me"

"It wouldn't have turned into a fight if you would've just told me what was wrong" I said.

"Don't go blaming this on me. I told you to drop it multiple times" he said.

"Then fine lets drop it" I said.

"Too late now"

"I cant believe you actually want to talk to me for once. I guess we should fight more often" I said.

"Logan just shut the fuck up" he said.

"Don't talk to me like that"

"Why I thought you wanted me to talk to you"

'That's not what I meant Kendall"

"Whatever Logan"

"God Kendall your so fucking annoying" I said.

"You're the one who doesn't know how to drop something. You just make everything worse" he said.

"Oh I make everything worse. You started this whole thing" I said.

"Just leave me alone" he said turning away from me.

"No I want to fix this not avoid it"

"I'm not avoiding anything"

"Yes you are. You wont even look at me. That's avoiding" I said.

"Whatever"

"Just look at me" I said grabbing his shoulder.

"Get off me!" he screamed and pushing me away from him.

I immediately lost control of the wheel, and the car spun into the other lane. We screamed until I finally managed to get control of the car. The car came to a halt and we both sat there breathing heavily.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. What about you?" he asked.

"I'm alright. That was…..

"Logie watch out!" Kendall screamed.

I turned just as a truck came out of no where. The truck hit the car, causing it to roll over a few times. The last thing I heard was Kendall's screams, before everything went black.

**Kendall's POV**

Once the car stopped rolling I quickly unbuckled myself. I wasn't that hurt, just had a few cuts and scratches. I crawled out from the car and rolled over on my side. I closed my eyes and just laid there, trying to catch my breath.

"Logie are you ok?" I asked.

Nothing.

I opened my eyes. "Logie?"

He still wasn't responding to me. I quickly stood up and limped over to the side he was on. He was still strapped in, so I unbuckled him. I gasped when I saw he was covered in blood. Across his forehead was a huge gash and blood was trickling down his face. There was pieces of glass everywhere. A piece of glass was jabbed in his side.

"Oh god please logie be ok" I said as I laid him down on the pavement.

I quickly checked for a pulse. I sighed in relief when he had one, but it was faint. I knew if I didn't get him help he would die. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed 911. After a few minutes the operator picked up.

"911 what's your emergency?" a women said.

"I was just in a car accident I need an ambulance quick" I said.

"What's your name?"

"I'm Kendall Knight. Please hurry my friend is dying" I said.

"Ok I'm sending you one now. Please stay on the line" she said.

"Kendall" I heard Logan say quietly.

I turned back to Logan. He was alive. I closed my phone, ignoring the women's order. I started rubbing his forehead and speaking to him softly.

"Everything's ok Logie. An ambulance is on the way, just hang in there" I said.

He nodded and winced. "It h-hurts"

"What hurts babe?" I asked.

"Everything" he said.

I remembered the glass that was still in his side. I needed to get it out fast.

"Logie I need to get the glass out of your side ok" I said.

He nodded and I went to remove it. Before I could he quickly grabbed my hand.

"No it hurts" he said.

"Logan I have to. I promise it wont hurt anymore once its gone" I said.

He let go of my hand and I continued to remove it. I gently took the piece of glass out and applied pressure to his wound.

"Does that feel better?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Everything still hurts"

I felt my eyes fill up with tears. There was nothing I could do to rid him of his pain.

"Just hold on Logie, help is almost here. Then you wont feel anymore pain" I said.

He nodded weakly and his eyes began to flutter.

"No Logie stay with me" I said.

"I-I'm trying, but it hurts so much" he said

"I know but everything is going to be ok" I said as I rocked him in my arms.

He didn't say anything. I knew he was having difficulty speaking, but I needed to hear his voice. That was the only way I would know if he was still with me. His body began to shake and I held him tightly. My heart started to ache when I heard him whimper. I couldn't help him and I hated that. I was supposed to make sure he was ok at all times. That was one of the jobs of being his boyfriend.

"Its ok Logie. I'm here" I said as I gently rocked him.

I looked up when I heard sirens and saw flashing lights. The ambulance arrived and the paramedics were quickly at our side. One of the paramedics grabbed my shoulder and dragged me away from Logan. I watched as Logan was placed on a stretcher and taken to the awaiting ambulance.

"Logan!" I yelled while trying to get away from the paramedics.

I was placed on a stretcher as well and put in the ambulance. I kept trying to tell the paramedics that I was fine, but they wouldn't listen. The doors to the ambulance closed and I turned to face Logan. He looked like a completely different person. He was pale from losing all that blood.

"Logie are you ok?" I asked.

He opened his eyes and turned to me. "It still hurts"

"I promise you everything is going to be ok" I said.

He nodded and his eyes started to flutter again. I grabbed his hand and rubbed his knuckles with my thumb. On the way to the hospital, I made sure to keep a close eye on him. He was fading and fading fast. I didn't want to lose him. I couldn't take not having him here with me. We finally made it to the hospital and we were separated. I was sent to a completely different room, while he was rushed else where. Since my wounds weren't as serious as Logan's, I only needed a few bandages. I was told I could go home the next day, while Logan had to stay a little longer. I was put on medication to help with the little pain I did feel. I was soon drifting off to sleep.

I gasped and sat up in bed. I rubbed my eyes and looked around. I sighed when I realized it wasn't a dream. I was really in the hospital and so was Logan. I quickly climbed out of the bed to go find him. I opened the door and peeked outside. All the doctors were really busy, so they paid me no attention when I walked over to the receptionists desk. When I approached the front desk, the women looked up at me and smiled.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Yeah I was wondering what room Logan Mitchell was in" I said.

"Are you family?" she asked.

"Yeah I am" I said.

"He's in room 221" she said.

I thanked her and made my down the corridor. On my way there I was hoping and praying that he was ok. The door to his room came into view. As I was getting closer a doctor came out of his room, shaking his head. I ran up to the doctor.

"Is he ok?" I asked.

The doctor seemed startled for a moment.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Kendall Knight. I came in with him" I said.

"Oh you're his friend"

"Is he alright? Can I see him?" I asked.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news" the doctor said.

"B-bad news" I said.

"It seems your friend isn't going to make it" he said.

"W-what"

"We tried our best, but he lost a lot of blood and his wounds were too deep" the doctor said.

My eyes filled up with tears and I could soon feel them fall down my face.

"Can I see him?" I asked.

The doctor nodded before walking away. I slowly turned the doorknob and opened the door. I gasped when I saw him. He was laying on the bed with his eyes closed. There were tubes coming out of his nose and from his side. He was hooked up to a machine and there was a bag filled with blood next to him. But I guess none of those things were helping him. I cupped my mouth and walked over to him. I grabbed his hand and kissed it. I started crying. I was losing him and there was nothing I could do about it.

"I'm so sorry Logie. This is all my fault" I said as I buried my head on his chest.

"Its not your fault Kendall"

I looked up and tired to wipe my tears, but they kept falling.

"Yes it is Logie. If I never yelled at you….this wouldn't have happened" I said.

He started stroking my cheek soothingly. "Things happen for a reason. I guess its just my time"

"No don't say that. Your gonna be ok" I said.

He shook his head. "I don't think so this time"

"Please don't leave me Logie. I don't think I can handle it" I said with more tears rolling down my face.

He brushed away my tears with his thumb and gave me a small smile. "I wont leave you Kendall. I will always be with you"

"You promise" I said.

"I promise"

I smiled and gave him a kiss on the lips.

"Just please promise me that you will look out for everyone" he said.

"I will. But why are you saying that?" I asked.

"I-I love you Kendall" he said.

"I love you too Logie, so much" I said

He squeezed my hand and his eyes started to flutter.

"No Logie, don't give in. please hold on. Be strong for me. Don't let go" I said

I held is hand tighter. After a few seconds it felt light. The machine that he was hooked up to started beeping loudly.

"No Logie don't leave me. Wake up" I sobbed.

He didn't answer me and I cried harder.

"Please Logie wake up. I need you" I said.

I felt someone grab me and pull me away from him. I looked up and saw it was nurse. She started dragging me outside the room.

"No Logan don't go!" I screamed.

I tried my best to escape the nurse's grasp, but it was no use. The last thing I saw before the door closed was the doctor write something down on his clipboard, then covering Logan with a sheet. I collapsed on the floor and started crying. My Logan was gone. My little Logie was gone forever.

***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR***BTR

Burying Logan was probably the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I didn't want to do it at first, but I knew he wouldve wanted me to. His parents flew in from Minnesota to attend his funeral. I had a feeling they hated me. My mom told me it wasn't my fault, but I knew it was. If I just talked to him we wouldn't have gotten into that fight. I was a horrible boyfriend. I killed the love of my life. It was all my fault that my lover, my world, my best friend was gone. I hated myself so much. And I bet everyone else did too. James and Carlos were devastated when they found out. James stopped talking to me for w while because he was so upset. I knew he blamed me for Logan's death. Everyone else did as well. Or that's what it seemed like.

The priest said a few words about Logan, then he said a prayer for him. Before Logan's casket was lowered into the ground, we got to place a flower on top. Carlos went first and placed his. Then it was James. After they went, it was my turn. I placed the flower on top and kissed the casket. I didn't want to leave his side, but my mom pulled me off. I backed away and watched as he was lowered into the cold ground. I covered my face with my hands and stared sobbing. My mom and Katie gave me a hug and held me tightly. James and Carlos joined in, and we all mourned for our friend.

A few days have passed since Logan's death, and I was a complete mess. It wasn't the same without him. It felt like a piece of me was missing. I couldn't sleep because I would have recurring nightmares of the night he died. I would wake up with a start and be drenched in sweat. Sometimes I would wake up screaming. I didn't even sleep in my own room anymore, it reminded me too much of Logan. I missed everything about him. The way he would act under pressure or how he would come up with a logical explanation for something. I missed how he would try and get us out of a situation. I missed his crooked grin. I missed his lips on mine. I missed being able to see him every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to bed.

It hurts that I wasn't going to see him become a doctor like he always wanted. It hurts that he wont hear me say I love him anymore. It hurts that I will never see him again.

I cried myself to sleep and tried to dream of him when he was alive. But that didn't work. I woke up crying and covered in sweat. No matter how hard I tried I still had those awful dreams of him. I needed him more then anything. Without him there was no point in living. I was incomplete.

I stood up from the orange couch, and walked across the apartment to my old room. I couldn't say it was mine and Logan's anymore. I opened the door and turned on the light. All of his things were still intact. No one touched his things, just left them the way Logan did. I walked over to his bed and ran my hand across it. He always made his bed perfectly, nothing was ever out of place. I laid down on his bed and turned on my side. On the nightstand was a picture of us. It was right after our first date. We were smiling as I held him close. I grabbed the picture and put it to my chest. I started crying. It was hard not to breakdown when you entered this room. I rolled over on my stomach, still clutching the picture tightly. I placed my head on his pillow. It still smelled like him. A few of my tears stained the pillow and even fell on the picture.

"I'm so sorry Logie" I said as I traced the picture with my finger.

"Why are you still crying for me?"

I quickly sat up and gasped. Right in front of me was Logan. He was wearing a stripped blue shirt with a gray cardigan sweater. It was the same clothes he wore the night of the accident. But instead of looking beat up and bruised, he looked perfectly fine. More tears came to my eyes and I let them fall.

"Is this a dream?" I asked.

"I guess it could be considered one. But its up to you" he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because this is completely up to yo…" he said.

"No why did you leave me?" I asked cutting him off.

"Things happen for a reason. I didn't mean to leave you on purpose" he said.

"What reason Logie?"

"I don't know Kendall"

"But it hurts not having you with me" I said.

He walked over and sat down next to me. "But Kendall I am here with you."

"Why didn't I go instead of you?" I asked.

"Because it wasn't your time" he said.

"It wasn't yours either"

"Kendall I know you miss me, but you need to stop crying for me. I'm not hurting anymore. Everything is ok now" he said.

"No its not Logie. We all miss you. It isn't the same without you." I said.

"I know, but things will get better in time"

"No they wont"

"I promise you they will" he said.

"You promised me that you wouldn't leave me, but you did. You broke that promise" I said.

"No I didn't. I'm here now aren't I" he said

I sniffed and looked down. "I guess so"

"But are you keeping your promise to me"

I looked up. "What promise?"

"The one that you will watch out for everyone" he said.

"I'm trying Logie. But its hard because all I can think about is you" I said.

"Well try to focus on others and yourself"

"No Logie I cant forget about you. I wont"

"I'm not saying to forget about me. I'm just saying that you shouldn't forget about that people that are still here" he said.

I nodded. "I wont Logie. I promise"

He smiled and I could see it was his crooked grin. I couldn't help but smile back. He stood up and gave me a kiss on the lips. He let go and backed away.

"I guess this is goodbye" he said.

"But Logie…"

"Kendall its not for forever. We will meet again someday. But until then this is goodbye" he said.

I nodded.

"I love you Kendall and always will. Please don't forget that" he said.

"I love you too Logie" I said.

He smiled then disappeared into a bright light. I had to shield my eyes because it was so bright. Once the light was gone, the room seemed darker. He was gone. But he wasn't gone forever. He said we would meet up again someday, and that made me smile. I would get to see my Logie again. I stood up from the bed, still clutching the photo of us. I was glad he came and visited me. I don't know if it was a dream or if he was really there. But he did leave me feeling something I haven't felt in a long time. Peace. I looked down at the picture of us and smiled.

"I love you Logie"

**A/N: So yeah i wanted to try writing a sad kogan for once. i hope it wasnt so bad. =D**


End file.
